NOBODY ASKED ME, BUT……
By Anthony Bourdain

I actually WATCH Food Network now and again, more often than not drawn in by the progressive horrors on screen. I find myself riveted by its awfulness, like watching a multi-car accident in slow motion.

I actually don't agree with him overall about the Food Network, but I'm not a cook (not sure if that says something about me or the Food Network). Mainly, he's just too funny for this guest post to be passed up. Case in point:

I would likely be arrested if I suggested on television that any children watching [Sandra Lee] should promptly go to a wooded area with a gun and harm themselves. What’s the difference between that and Sandra suggesting we fill our mouths with Ritz Crackers, jam a can of Cheez Wiz in after and press hard? None that I can see.

I would especially like to see his dream Iron Chef America match-ups become reality, especially “Mikey” from Top Chef vs. Sandra Lee.