Compaq FAQ: Where do I find the 'Any' key on my keyboard?: "The term 'any key' does not refer to a particular key on the keyboard. It simply means to strike any one of the keys on your keyboard or handheld screen."

Apparently Homer Simpson learned how to ask Compaq a question. And since it's a "Frequently Asked" question, apparently there are a lot of real people just as dumb as he is. Now we know they use Compaq-brand computers.